Compare paychecks with you co-workers. It is the best way to get equality.
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Me: *scrolling twitter in bed*
My gf: "I like to think Mario and Luigi are both colour blind and think they have matching outfits"
Me: *fucking losing it*
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I'm imagining if tolkien lived now and publishers were asking him if he had enough followers on twitter and if he could film videos to market his found family elfcore magic cottagevibes worldbuilding fantasy book on tiktok. i think he would run them over with his car actually
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dnd jokes that will always be funny no matter what your dm tells you
- "jesus christ" "who's that"
- "this is just like (tv show/movie)" "that's my favorite play"
- referring to famous musicians or actors from the real world as "bards"
- adding the word "fantasy" in front of modern things (i pull out my Fantasy iPhone and open Fantasy Tinder)
- "how hurt are you" "on a scale of one to twenty-eight i'd say i'm at about a nine."
feel free to add more
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I can’t begin to express the difference it makes just that I’m able to wear exclusively t-shirts, baggy shorts, and flip-flops. And the thing is, right. What you notice is that I’m wearing something slightly odd for the weather. What you don’t notice is that I’m not curled up with my hands clamped over my ears because socks make the clinking plates in the restaurant too loud.
i am reminded of how my mom's only understanding of autism was the six year old special ed kids she sometimes watched as a substitute teacher despite the fact she's been married to my dad for 36 years
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the world is a scary place when you are a small and edible thing
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funnytwittertweets
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"I can fix him" not in a "I can make him into a better person" way but in a "if he was my character I would've handled his story better" way
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milk is neat because its the only drink i can think of where you desperately want it cold and yet it would be unthinkable to put ice cubes in. a delicate limbo. a yuri of abscence. this post is nothing but you can look at it if youd like
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happy birthday to all the tbs in the southern hemisphere!
Special Event: All Horses’ Birthday (Southern Hemisphere only)
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“The average US president has been charged with 1.54 felonies” factoid isn’t true. The average US President has been charged with 0 felonies. Donald trump, who has been charged with 71, is a statistical outlier and should not have been counted
Felonies Donld is now up to 79 felonies, for a statistical average of 1.71 felonies per president
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This Barbie is an ancient Slavic witch
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ALTIt is with great joy that I get to share this version of the breaking news meme
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was thinking about infighting and like. they all see us the same. from the wildest queerest fagdyke to a cis gay guy. we are the same to them. the weird queers are not like. ruining your precious community. we're a part of it
@ exclusionists:
